Wednesday, May 31, 2006
now..we are realli talking abt wee hours.. or maybe not..couldnt sleep. due to some reasons. i am worrying for my events, and the results of cuz. er.and i hav been thinking abt the strokes, the techniques, the pace, the mood to adopt, Omg. so many. my brain is packed(considering i got a small one.) cant slp.maybe the thrill of going sea age affected me. think sea age ,think abt fun and joy. this year, i am bit more serious. want to win. or nid to. both to me matters. but of cuz austin, may the best man win. i am not a sure winner. i expect and know that there will be defeat at times.
ya rmb the injury gary gave me(not blaming him lah!)? it left a black patch on my foot. i tot it was some dried blood, so i ignored it. so i went to think that i shud clean it. i pierced it open with a needle.. and Black Blood flowed out.. i was amazed. amazed. (abt 10mins b4 this point of time). then i tot that i shud cut the skin away.. so did i.. and so it hurt. basket.. now i realised that i was cutting my flesh.. the truth is, the skin nv left my foot. its blood that was trapped in between the skins. not a cut at all. i tot it was some blister sort. which i could cut the skin.which was proven wrong. not the blister sort which the skin can be removed. damn. i am injured by myself..sry for vague description. for a detailed one. look at my foot Live!(if its still there when i get back...)
got a song which perfectly describes my mood now. here is it. Crawling by Linkin Park.
crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real
there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
consuming/confusing
this lack of self-control I fear is never ending
controlling/I can't seem
to find myself again
my walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take) I've felt this way before
so insecure
crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real
discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
distracting/reacting
against my will I stand beside my own reflection
it`s haunting how i cant seem...
to find myself againmy walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
so insecure
crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real
crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing confusing what is real
there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
consuming/confusing what is real
this lack of self-control I fear is never ending
controlling/confusing what is real
-
One day you'll be the one crying..# ;
