Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Yes. i know. we are bored.
Many Romance Languages (Italian, Spanish, French) give even inanimate objects a gender. In French, for example, this determines whether you use “la” or “le in front of the noun. If English designated things as either male or female, here are a few of our recommendations...
COPIER: Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
HAMMER: Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
HOT AIR BALLOON: Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.
HOURGLASS: Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
KIDNEYS: Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
REMOTE CONTROL: Female... Ha! You thought I'd say male. But consider … it gives a man pleasure. He'd be lost without it. Lastly while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
SHOES: Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.
SPONGES: Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
SWISS ARMY KNIFE: Male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
TIRES: Male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.
WEB PAGE: Female, because it is always getting hit on.
ZIPLOC BAGS: Male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.
Q and A.
Q. Where do you get virgin wool from?
A. Ugly sheep.
Q. Did you hear about the blind man who went bungee jumping?
A. He loved it, but it scared the hell out of his dog. <--- took me some time to get this.
Q. Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
A. Because it was dead.
Q. Why did the Leper go back into the shower?
A. He forgot his Head and Shoulders.
Q. Did you hear that Fed Ex and UPS are going to merge?
A. Yeah. They're going to call it FED UP!
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Moral:
You should always give 100% at work...12% Monday; 23% Tuesday; 40% Wednesday; 20% Thursday; 5% Friday
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One day you'll be the one crying..# ;
