Do you even care

Saturday, June 24, 2006

intruder.
obviously one guy called coach david has knowingly trespassed private property without invitation. HouNo. for that, he gets 10 big breaths, 20 jaw droppings, 30 surprises, 40 shocks, 50 queries, 60 new things he nv knew. 70 more reason to pull me for training. 80 more things to tell people abt me, 90 days b4 he forgets abt my blog and 100 % reason to remember my name!

- One day you'll be the one crying..# ;

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Hi. Welcome everybody back to another series of Lamers!Online. HouYes. I am quite confident that you guys must have heard about Ng Jia Hao, the HouYes.Breaststroker, by now yea? yea man. i cant say anything except this phrase, :" Heaven! Hes Good!"

ok lah. fine. enuff of that. hehe. joking lah!> er. did quite well so far at this meet. but even i am surprised with what i did. lowering my times to a high 1.07.76 during heats and a low 1.07.39 during finals. i am indeed happy. i got a bronze btw. but i am unhappy cuz i lost ben ng by 0.08. i hate it. losing by a bit. lose then lose a big margin mah.. why lose a bit onli..? make my heart feel so itchy? idiot. anyway. i got a feel contradicting feelings inside me now. first, i am very very happy that i improved (thx to last minute stroke changes on Sunday) and secondly, i am feeling very bad bcuz i won mark and joel tan. mark and joel are very nice ppl. they treat me realli nicely man. and mark gave me a cap from japan too. hmm yellow cap. and joel is the one (and onli one) in my club who trains breaststroke with me. er. so i get this feeling. hope u guys know wad i talking about.

i am not promoting SwimFast or anything. but i seriously think that SAC now is a very worthy club to join. with more national swimmers here, we improve more? i guess. with gary, mark, joel, coach david, coach kenneth. kenneth cheok. wow. we are a good team. i can clear my doubts with them, ask them for opinions,advice and stuff. and get free stuff from them too!!. hehe. i am not asking ppl to join but i telling u that if u do not join, u are missing half the meaning to swim.

heres my point. yes. in swimming, we want to train, we want to chat, want to make frens, see girls, know boys, and all that nonsense(1/2 the meaning)-- AT THE SAME TIME IMPROVE(another 1/2)! u get it here. hehe.

OK. good night all of ya. hope the best for all in the remaining of the SG opens. good swim Ben Ng. to Joel and Mark, u know that this is not your best, so dun be angry with me!

- One day you'll be the one crying..# ;

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Everybody's sian. Life is sian. Maybe it would be better when we grow older//

hoho.i hav decided. i am gonna post a collection of lame/raci$t/stupid/dirty jokes in today's post. hope that it would make your day. prolly i heard from someone, from the net, or some crazy idea from somewhere. i will try acknowledge as much as i can.

Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework.

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Two old friends, Sam and Bob, are baseball fanatics. They live and breathe baseball, they attend 60 games a year, the local bartender calls them to answer disputes regarding statistics, they have attended every World Series game since 1960.

They are getting older and one day, Sam says to Bob. "If you die before I do, will you let me know, if they play baseball in Heaven. I'll do the same for you if I die before you do." Bob agrees.
Two days later Bob passes away in his sleep. Sam comes home from the funeral and lays down for a nap, he's really tired. He drifts in and out of sleep.

Suddenly, there's a heavenly voice saying "Sam! Sam!", Sam is startled awake and asks, "Is that you, Bob?", Bob answers, "Yes, Sam it's me.", Sam asks, "So, tell me Bob, do they play baseball in heaven?", Bob replies "Sam, I've got good news and bad news, what do want to hear first."
"The good news first, Bob." Sam says. Bob replies with "Okay, Sam, the good news is they play baseball in heaven, and the bad news is that you're starting the game tomorrow evening."

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A mom dad and baby tomato are walking down the street and the babystarts to lag behind so the dad goes back and smashes the baby and
says "ketchup"

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now let me tell u a dirty joke,
I fall into the mud.

-from.me
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A salesman comes up to a farmer in his barnyard. Next to the farmer is a pig with three legs. As the pig hobbles around, the salesman says to the farmer, "That's terrible! Why don't you put that pig out of his misery?" The farmer drew a deep breath and said, "Let me tell you about that pig. One night, my house caught fire and that pig ran through the house, woke everybody up and got us out safely." "That's no reason to let him suffer!", said the salesman. "That's true", said the farmer. "But there's more. One day, my tractor flipped over. That pig ran back to the house and got help for me. He saved my life." "I'm sure he's very talented", said the salesman, "But look at him. He can hardly walk. Why don't you just take him to a vet and have him put to sleep?" The farmer looked at the salesman and shook his head. "Listen buddy, if you had a pig that was that good, would you eat him all at once?

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Student takes off his pants

A student is taking his final exams. He takes his seat in the exam hall, stares at the questions and then in a fit for inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt, pants and socks.
The teacher, alarmed, approached him and asked what is going on?

"I am only following the instructions -- the test paper states, answer the questions in brief.''

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A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a brand-new Ferrari 550. It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops for a red light.
An old man (about 75 years old) on a moped pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the sleek, shiny new car and asks, "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?"
The young man replies, "A Ferrari 550. It cost half a million dollars!"
"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the young dude proudly. The old man asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"
"No problem," replies the owner.
So the old guy pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his moped, he says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right… but I'll stick with my moped!"
Just then the light changes, so the young guy decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 160 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rearview mirror.
It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be, and suddenly, WHHHOOOOSSSHHH! something whips by him, going much faster.
What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?! the young man asks himself. He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 250 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the moped.
Amazed that the moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it some more gas and passes the moped at 275 mph. WHHOOOOSSSHH!
He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him again. Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph.
Not 10 seconds later he sees the moped bearing down on him again. The Ferrari is flat out and there's nothing he can do.
Suddenly the moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear. The young man jumps out; unbelievably, the old man is still alive!!! He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh, my God! Is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man whispers softly, "Unhook… my… suspenders… from… your… side-view… mirror."

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Why don't cannibals eat comedians? Because they taste Funny

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What do John the Baptist & Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Their middle name
..

i hav more. but some are best left to be told by mouth. hols are almost coming to an end, and my hw still not started. swim competition made it worst. making my time even shorter. sometimes i hope i would stay at 25 forever. no NS. no studying. just play. just fun. with girls. with boys alike. arcade. computer. chit chat. msn. dota. frens. being a noob. being a pro. sleeping. but come to think abt it, if i can stay young forever, i must be dreaming. its fake.

Is there some kind of Dream Friend?

er. dream friend? yea. definitely there will be a dream fren for everyone. HouYes. my dream fren. lets start listing.

my dream fren would be someone who is able/can/is:

keep secrets
share some common interest
have some unique interest him/herself
definitely not filthy rich sort. well-to-do
give some unique and true views on a matter
truthful
damn free. very 'on' that kind. like midnight suddenly want go supper or sort also can.
listening ear
wise advisor
sports/ music person
who is open minded.
who can train with me
who can stand my nonsense
who is health conscious
basically put the good traits/attributes/characteristic in him/her
also must hav some negative points/attributes but a bit only.
er, somewhat appealing to eye.
good fashion sense
flexible with matters
something that can double the above is when the person is a girl
and wad can triple the point b4 this is when i like her.
something that can double the above two statements is when the girl likes me too. HouYes.
when he/she knows when to say HouYes
when he/she can make people(me) laugh
wad more can i ask for if any of my fren can even possess half of wad i stated?
wad more can i ask for if i hav one such dream fren with wad is stated in the previous point?

alright. enjoy reading. thx for ur time. today long post. damn long. sry.

- One day you'll be the one crying..# ;

sg open is drawing closer. hows everybods preparation coming up'? have been going training regularly rite now.can see some improvements.hehe. i think i shud be able to improve by a bit in sg open again. especially 100m breast. er. the 50m breast is on same day with 200m breast. so u noe lah. good luck to me. and the are not far apart. 3 events apart.

i hav ordered my legskin already. dunno if i will get to use it for my 50m free. dunno if it can come in time. wow. its damn cheap man. ~$195 (dependent on exchange rate) for a legskin. and ~$135 for a jammers. shud be far cheaper than sg rite? i saw the normal black fast skin 2 jammers in sg for $199. so its like i buy jammers but free extension. cant wait for it to come.

hav been sian these days. games also sian to play. either win or lose. win also win till sian. lose also lose until paiseh. so a lot more to msn these days. wads lame happenings these days? was thinking that i set up a forum for us to go into. not sure anyone interested. if interested then tag at tagboard and i see response decide if i shud set up lor.

is there anyone interested to go watch movies? there seemed to be many nice shows this hol. tag me.

- One day you'll be the one crying..# ;

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

I decided to do away with the previous post. Yea. after wad Gen told me. Right, "Why am i so afraid to lose you when you are not even mine?" So nvm. shall talk abt swimming.

ya. old boring swimming. the stupid water sport which makes us go dizzy with laps and laps and yet laps again in the stupid pool. As the chinese saying goes,"1 lap during competition, equals to 1000 laps during training" HouYes. it is true. i dun understand why ppl can train so hard. thats still ok. but why they are able to do it, and still be able to stand the boredom? i have to say swimming have made many people lifeless. robbed of their free time, their time to relax, and time from family and frens. wad is the world becoming to? i am not against people from COE. but dun they think that it is realli eating into their lives? i am not sure man. i am just a average swimmer training abt 5-6 times/week (onli during hols). i noe of people who goes over 10 times a week!. waking up even before my dream can start, to train. and train. and train again. over and over again.

i have to make my point. If by training alot, you can reach your peak, many people would have maxed it long ago. So, again, i am not against coe people cuz other clubs also prolly train as much.

lets calculate;

a) i go training 6 times a week, and i put in 100% effort.

ans a) = 6x100%=600% effort

b) i go training 10 times a week, effort degrades by 8% after every session

100%+ 92% + 84% + 76% + 68% + 60% + 52% + 44% + 36% + 28% = 640%

ans b) = 640%.

i need not say more. this is onli for a person who is unable to last through the sessions( double training). i hav this viewpoint cuz obviously i cannot last double training for more than a day. i die next day.then if u are someone like me, and wants to train that much suddenly, u die too. dun think u can survive it as long as u perservere. its a vicious cycle, u get more and more tired. ur strokes gets away, u get slower, u lose passion for swimming. and u fail urself. so for me, i choose plan A. houYes, smart choice. this way. i can improve better, focus better. more time for games and a lil bit more for studies. more life, better swims. and most imptly, I RETAIN MY PASSION FOR SWIMMING. unless u already a good lasting swimmer from lesser sessions, i feel its best tht we do not move on to ^8x a week.

HouYes. u must agree that passion and self-interests are the best inspiration and moltivation for u to press on during the toughest of the trainings. lose it, lose urself.

THE ABOVE IS TOTALLY MY POINT OF VIEW, NOT HAPPY, TOO BAD CUZ I DUN CARE TOO.

- One day you'll be the one crying..# ;

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Hot! New!
Well. after Gen spoke to me, i decided to change the title of this post to " Different Strokes For Different Folks" which means that not everything suits everybody, vice versa. Also, everyone is unique and special. HouYes? Not bad right?

it all started when Berry (then monster)(Real Name Zhe Kang), kept saying," a! can u stop bullying my roommate?"

i swear i did nothing of that sort. i did not bully her roommate. Berry or Light can come clarify with me if u think i said wrong.

i see them abt 3 times a day, on the first few days, no competition (breakfast, lunch,dinner). everytime, i walk pass them, Berry would say, the same old new lines.

so. i am sick of it/ maybe. so i started to like give a reply..add some gestures. and stuff. then the two girls will definitely stick together. i dunno why/.. puzzled. i am lost too.

initially, i called the traffic light a traffic light bcuz she wore the st nicks traffic light shirt lah. if ya dun know that yet. er. so. as hours passed. we(maybe onli I) , found her nice? i am unsure. but shes definitely the mysterious kind of girl ( traffic light) that realli seemed femininely cool. so we decided to check her out. so we went to "confront" Room 534. HouYes:)

The Confrontation.
it wasnt very much a confrontation. i rmbed i went with nick chew, the friendly neighbourhood hunk, and prolly austin/rainer (i nt sure). the strategy was to intercept them outside their room when the corridor is empty/. sounds like a good plan? HouYes. Fool-proof plans always fail ( like Titanic.) ok. we did. we intercepted. HouYes? no.

It was a houNo//. we intercepted them. with traffic light in the room. but we are still freaking standing outside. with Berry. wtf. seriously..

er. let me clarify. our aim of the "Confrontation" is to get to know traffic light, introduce ourselves and ya. introduce. thats all. plainly. serious. honest.

then Berry was trying to be funny. she wants to get in the room. but i was even more stupid, i closed the door to the room i wanted very much to be in, trying to stop her from entering. then i realised,"how am i to get in now?" i felt dumb. i realli did.

so there is one small Berry, against two strong swimmers namely Me (houyes!) and Nick Chew (houHunk!). with Traffic light in the room. and we are all locked out. WTF.

i was trying to get in. Berry doesnt allow. Now this is funny. she screamed,"A!, dun open the door! they are trying to get in!". she spoke with fear. with fear that we are going in to rape her RoomMate? Omg. shes mad. i tot we are mad. she is better.

..i am realli sry if there is any repetitions or spelling mistakes in this entire thing man. its too long. and i am writing them in parts. and my memory isnt that good lah. pre-post: the second attempt.

ok. back in second part now.

er. so i asked for her name(asked Berry). i think that i asked it before that incident. i heard shes called the Christabel. HouYes? and i think this happened on the first day of competition. cuz i went to check her out. obviously i didnt find her name, although i saw her swam. i think 50m breast that first day. i was puzzled. so i took this chance to ask Berry."why her name(Christabel) not in the startlist?" she replied,"cuz Christabel is not in her bc name, then her name is jia ching." ~something like that. ok. the next thing i knew, i was flipping the startlist again, hoping to get an idea on how fast she swam..

wad i can say on her swimming speed.
definitely i am certainly not fast enough to comment. but comparing her speed with en yuan or the DanDan (the ugly in short), shes quite slow i shall say. i think her speed is something i did in p6. yea. around there.

er. sorry i hav to give the exciting Night Convo a miss. its such a secret. houyes. i not sure abt the timeline, but from wad i can stil rmb, Berry cried rite? ok.shall elaborate on tt first.

er. it started with the same-old-new-fool/idiot-proof-genius-plan we had. we intercepted again?. foolish and silly, come to think abt it again. ok. this time i am sure its rainer. ok.. rainer blocked Berry from entering her room, again, with Christabel inside. er. i hav mentioned rite? i am sensitive to touch/food and drinks(especially girls), so i am also not that wierd to go into her room when i could then. i merely peeked inside. then when rainer was blocking her at the door, i joined in his human wall, guess wad? i dunno why she cried?..! Ridiculous lah. haili say that i banged onto her? no way lah/. i am so innocent. Houyes. maybe i unintentionally and accidentally hit her, it cant be head on. Must be splash damage.

a big hoo-ha was created. man, a tsunami in a pool? absurd. then there was all these consoling and apologize and stuff. i hate to say this but hav to say that i hate girls cries. make me feel bad.
then i came back into her room later, after joel tan jy and lynette came to me and speak abt her. this time i went into 534, with intention of apologizing. i said," sorry lah, ... ... "she cried bcuz lyn and joel say i called her ugly always? and continued," you not ugly lah, u very cute lah" ~~something like that.

why are girls so sensitive, cant they tell i am joking? well. i might be saying the truth but i am joking lah. girls are indecisive too.

then the joel and lyn came again, and spoke to me again. saying that i shud not call Berry a monster. ELABORATION. ( speeches from either one of us lah.)

:how can u call ppl monster and traffic light?

:just imagine lah, a girl being called a monster.

:why u start giving them nicknames ah?

:oh, i dunno their names.

: then the traffic light leh?

: i saw from her st nicks tshirt.

HouYes. this was the rough convo we had lah.in the room with lyn joel. and rainer.

heres comes the apologizing through the phone. that Berry is ridiculous man. wah lao eh. i already said sorry many times, with sincerity. she still cant accept it. wtf. then i rmb i was in aus and nick chew's room, with i think rainer again and prolly one/two others. then i asked Berry what u expect me to do then. i cant remember what she said. but i bet those in the room definitely remembered wad happened to me. after listening to her reply of wad she expects me to do, I FELL INTO AUS' LUGGAGE! wtf man.its really funny. i dunno why i fell too. i suddenly fell weak at my knees i think. i am realli interested to know wad she said ( obviously when i fell, the phone came out of my hand!)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx NEVER TO BE CONTINUEDxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

- One day you'll be the one crying..# ;

so. for the soccer/football followers, which team u guys/gals(?) for? i am not realli into soccer man. i dun watch. onli like the damn major matches, when evryones talking abt that damn event, then i will watch. or else i cant be bothered to watch 22 stupid ppl chasing a stupid ball. lol. but i do enjoy watching highlights. then amazing goals, and stuff. anyway, SAC ( the best club ever!) have soccer pools. woah. interesting rite? so join SAC!. er. this pool thingy is in simpler terms, betting for the champion team lah. i joined for fun. i placed 20 bucks on France and Brazil. lol. who cares. win then good. lose then i sad liao lah. anyway. this is a hot question. many asks me," eh jia hao, which is your favourite team?"

my answer is simple. the team which brings me money is my favourite team. HouYes!./

- One day you'll be the one crying..# ;

Thursday, June 08, 2006

today is my first time in a very long time to go for morning training. went to adam road food centre for breakfast. had nasi lemak. coach david, bernard, joel and mark tan and gary followed. i think meagan went too. following that, gary sent me home after dropping bernard at acs(b).

was watching Fina replays i think. 26.17 for shortcourse 50m breast. er. quite impressive. i am then reminded of my strokes. i think i am gonna dedicate some time into refining my strokes.

these few days hav been quite troubled man. over many things. fast skin/girls/swimming strokes/schoolwork/training/..//.. so many things.

joel and mark was saying i am damn lucky becuz joscelin offered to help me get the fast skin. i serious think its not bad. maybe i can get it cheaper? houyes. add a signature on it and its perfect? maybe..

sg opens coming up man. i am taking 5 events. all breasts and 50/100m free.
i have some targets i hope to make during sg open

50m breast 30.8 ( re-breaking 31!)
100m breast 1.07.99 and below
200m breast 2.32 ( just maintain.)

50m free 25.2 ( hopefully top my age group)
100m free 55.4 and below ( i am putting a lot of hope into free this year)

ya. thats all. 50m free i am damn hopeful. 100m free i just pia whol thing. the 100m breast er. i am gonna persevere. 50s not much on endurance. pure technique and strength? i think so.. 200m i just try glide and move as much as i can in the shortest time.. houyes. sounds good. but everytime these fool-proof plans fails.

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i am quite a movie-enthusiast. so if any one wants to go watch, we can actually arrange and go together perhaps? just think about the girls and boys man.. houyes!./ just watched "the benchwarmers" yesterday. its generally a nice show. with a few nice parts to arouse ur attention. and some simply hilarious ones. not to mention digusting. this story is quite meaningful, quite touching, not so touching that u cry that sort. funny casts they have. how they find such wierd people? erm. sorry for the brief description. but i just dun want to spoil the show. if u dun want watch but want to know wad happened, dun ask me too. go watch. its worth the time and money.

- One day you'll be the one crying..# ;

Monday, June 05, 2006

thks. i am back from Indonesia. just arrived home. still feeling good.
first, i did a good job in my 100m breast there, considering a 1.08.40, there is a 0.57 improvement from my last PB. secondly, i think i did a great job for the 200m breast. just that the last fifty, i failed myself.. maybe the pace i was going at was too fast for me to hold, joel says its my stroke i used..so i not realli sure. this is a reminder for me to check out my strokes..lol. er. last, i think i got real fun from the trip? relaxed. enjoyable..( last year i lost real bad-- bottom of age group..) this year the wins and defeats will be a great reminder and reflection of my current standard.. though its a bit messed up here and there, everything else is fun.

THE LAST NIGHT.
wow. the last night was great. i prevented many people from sleeping. ya. eve, chew, traffic light, lee ning, zhe kang, audrey, austin. was real fun. i think i go real mad when its late at night. semi-consciousness state of mind, i go realli crazy.. losing the ability to balance properly,, think properly, i tripped many times.. sang many funny songs.. cracked many lame jokes. and did many SILLY things. honey stars are falling down! epicentre! if u are in the room , u shud noe wad i am talking about..

THE SCREWED UP-ED.
this is realli screwed up-ed. it all began with a simple question of whether u find someone "chio"? and lame prompts and Dares followed.. okay.. i hav to admit i enjoyed it. the laughing parts.. but come to think abt it.. i felt real bad.. dun wish to elaborate. my mind is in a mess now..lost

THE UnUsUaL jUlian?
omg. julian hav been acting real wierd during these trip. funny statements, comments, gestures,. endless. after his swim on the last day, wierd till now. keep telling me that traffic light is nice, cute so on. er.. i noe? yes i noe.. i think the same too. and perhaps even earlier than u do. and wierd, he said," eh jiahao, u like her( traffic light)? eh, i also find her quite cute leh.. so how? both of us like.. then u mind anot? if u mind i let u hav her.."

i wasnt realli expecting this from him man..i replied" er. anything, i not her bf."
lol. hes crazy. waved to the girls. to zhe kang too. a bit pervert? no lah, he is a handsome nice gentleman lol. to clear things up.. man .. in my room , when i joked abt wandering hands in a dark room filled with boys and girls, i am just making the room more joker, not becuz i am a pervert lah..

- One day you'll be the one crying..# ;